It’s about me figuring out what I got to do today
that keeps me alive tomorrow.
* * *
My family needs me more.
Don’t give up on him. Jax is someone who needs to be with someone. Always been that guy. We’re up against it here. I honestly don’t know if we’re gonna make it. But he ain’t got a chance without you.
— Bobby Munson — Los Fantasmas 6x08
It’s hard not to hate. People, things, institutions. When they break your spirit and take pleasure in watching you bleed hate is the only feel that makes sense. But I know what hate does to a man. Tears him apart, tears him in something he’s not. Something he promised himself he’d never become. That’s what I need to tell you, to let you know how hard I’m tryin’ not to cave under the weight of all the awful things I feel in my heart. Sometimes my life feels like a deadly balancing act, what I feel slamming up agains what I should do. Impulsive reactions racing to solutions miles ahead of my brain. When I look at my day I realised most of it was spend cleaning up the damage of the day before. In that life I have no future. All I have is distractions and remorse.
I buried my best friend three days ago. As cliche as it sounds, I left part of me in that box. Part I barely knew, part I’ll never see again. Everyday is a new box, boys. You open it, you take a look on what’s inside. You determines if it’s a gift or a coffin.
— Jackson Teller —Orca Shrugged [5-05]
Something happens at around 92 miles an hour - thunder-headers drown out all sound, engine vibrations travels at a heart’s rate, field of vision funnels into the immediate and suddenly you’re not on the road, you’re in it. A part of it. Traffic, scenery, cops - just cardboard cutouts blowing over as you pass. Sometimes I forget the rush of that. That’s why I love these long runs. All your problems, all the noise, gone. Nothing else to worry about except what’s right in front of you. Maybe that’s the lesson for me today, to hold on to these simple moments. Appreciate them a little more - there’s not many of them left. I don’t ever want that for you. Finding things that make you happy shouldn’t be so hard. I know you’ll face pain, suffering, hard choices, but you can’t let the weight of it choke the joy out of your life. No matter what, you have to find the things that love you. Run to them. There’s an old saying, ‘That which doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger’ I don’t believe that. I think the things that try to kill you make you angry and sad. Strength comes from the good things - your family, your friends, the satisfaction of hard work. Those are the things that’ll keep you whole. Those are the things to hold on to when you’re broken.
— Jax Teller — Sovereign [5.01]